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Honestly I don’t want you as my girl right now I want you to be something more than that. I want you to be my best friend, where ill always have you around till the day we can maybe happen. I know I have those feelings now and I may get hurt along the way but I know the wait is worth it.

I swear I don’t know how you feel about me. I sometimes wonder if you still have those feelings for me, do you still love me like you used to, and do I mean anything to you? You always ask me why I love you so much and you think I should not put so much hope into stuff but I guess I must be a fool then because I can’t see any other girl in this world the same way I see in you. There will be only one you and that’s the one I want to stick with.

I just hope you don’t change the way you see in me, the way you feel about me, the way you look a me and smile, after we had that talk last night. I couldn’t sleep.. And all I can feel is sadness cause your just pushing yourself away from me cause you want my family happy but what about me???…

This will probably be my last post for the night but for everyone out there. Cherish everything you have in your life. Never take anything for granted and don’t hurt the ones you loved most. Cause you can hurt them in the end and it will leave yourself hurt and regretting you made that mistake in the first place. And now all I can do is try to make up for it and say that I’m sorry..

I guess I just want to write out my thought here tonight. A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend of my and I knew she kind of liked me from the spot but yet I didn’t like her. We started talking and even though I still wasn’t to interested in her, I didn’t mind getting to know her as a friend. She asked me one question and I can remember it so clearly. She asked me “Thomas if you could take me out on a date or any girl on a date, where would you take them and why?” Well my reply to her wasn’t even intending her, it was for another girl that is always on my mind even till this very day. I told my friend that if I were to take a girl on a date I would take her to Halfmoon Bay where I would take the my girl for a walk onto the beach and a hike towards the cliff where you can see everything from the very top. Then I would take her to this lake where I would row her in this row boat just like in the movie “The Notebook”. While rowing her along the river I would gazed into her eyes, tell her she was so beautiful to me, make her feel like no one can ever make her any happier, and show her that I loved her. Then I would take her this special restaurant where I’ve heard so much about and never tried before. This restaurant was on top of a cliff where you can eat this fancy dinner, fine dine and everything and even see the beautiful very of the ocean from the window. Day or night. Lastly I would take her to twin peaks the area where you will see the most city lights from the very top in San Francisco probably. Where at night I will hold her hand and keep it close to me always. The reason most of these places are in San Francisco is because it’s the city I loved the most, it’s the city I will always love coming back to visit to, and it’s the very city I was born and raised in. That’s why I would want to spend this special time, this one date with the girl of my dreams. One day I told myself ill make it happen and I just hope it does cause that girl of my dreams is real and she is around. She just doesn’t notice me the same way I notice her that’s all. Maybe just one day…..

Sometimes I guess you shouldn’t get your hopes up to high cause once they go down, you just have to wait for the next time around.